The Stone Detective
The Case of the Floor that Was Too Shiny
Fred Hueston
Stone Care Consultant

Ah, the Christmas holidays are over and this stone detective is ready for a little trip to Florida for some fishing and much needed R and R, or so I thought. Now, I have seen all kinds of problems with stone and tile but today would bring yet another new and unusual case.

I was just getting ready to leave my office when the phone rang. "Stone Detective, here."

"Mr. Stone Detective, you have to get here right away and take a look at our granite floor," the desperate voice on the other end pleaded.

"Hold on, there," I said, "What's the problem?" The deep voice told me that they had just installed a new blue pearl granite and it was too shiny. Too shiny? I thought. I have never heard of anyone having a problem with any stone being "too shiny."

Well, my curiosity got the best of me and I had to see this. So, I locked the office, hopped in my woody and headed over to see the too shiny floor. I guess I'll have to wait to pack my Bermuda shorts and Hawaiian shirt.

I pulled up to this enormous resort hotel. It had one of the largest doors I had ever seen and, I kid you not, there was one of those lion door knockers that you see on Ebenezer's door in A Christmas Carol. The minute I saw it, I thought this deep-voiced guy I had just talked with was going to answer the door looking like one of Mr. Scrooge's ghosts.

I knocked on the door and waited for the doorman to answer - who turned out to be a skinny, Barney Fife-looking guy with the voice to match. He asked who I was and I said, "Mr. Deep Voice called for me about the too shiny granite."

He started laughing uncontrollably and said, "I'll call him." He picked up the phone and had a hard time stopping himself from laughing. This was really building my curiosity. A tall, Lurch-look-alike gentleman came walking into the lobby and headed over to me. This guy had to be over 7 feet tall! He was slim and should have been playing basketball instead of running a resort.

Anyway, he told me he was really glad that I was there and that they needed to get this shiny floor dulled as quickly as possible. Now, I'm thinking what can be so bad that a shiny floor is an emergency, so I had to ask.

"Well, we have a big party coming up and we have a lot of politicians and celebrities attending. And if the women see the condition of the floor there will be trouble...big trouble." I started scratching my head wondering what the heck? He saw the look on my face and said, "Lets go look at it and you'll see what I mean."

He led me down a long hall and stopped and knocked on another large door. "Anybody in there?" he asked. I looked up on the door and it said LADIES. OK, so it's the ladies restroom. Now, I think I know what his concern is.

We entered the room and I saw exactly what he was talking about. The floor was very reflective and when a woman would go into the stalls, it would be like they were standing on a mirror. Kind of reminded me of a kid I knew in high school who used to wear mirrors on his shoes to look up girl's dresses. This would have been right up his twisted little alley.

Anyway, I recommended that they hone down the floor to remove the shine. Mr. Deep Voice smiled with relief and we both actually got a chuckle out of it. I guess too much of anything really is bad, as they say.

Yet another strange case solved by the Stone Detective. I was able to pack my bags for Florida and start 2010 off with a clean slate. Can't wait to see what this year brings.

The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Fred Hueston, written to be entertaining and educational. Frederick M. Hueston is a worldwide expert on stone installation, failures, fabrication and restoration. He heads up the leading stone inspection team in the industry at Stone Forensics (www.stone forensics.com) and is the chief technical director for StonePRO Solutions. Please visit www.stoneforensics.com www.stoneprosolutions.com and www.stoneandtilepros.com for more information on their services.



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