More Things My Mother Taught Me

We got such a kick out of presenting "mom sayings" last year, that we decided to have another go at it this time. See if you remember when your mom proclaimed these universal truths:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
        If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
       "You better pray that this stain will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me all about TIME TRAVEL.
       "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
       "Because I'm your mother, that's why."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
       "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.
       "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
       "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about being a CONTORTIONIST.
       "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
       "You'll sit there and eat until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about the WEATHER.
        "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about the STRATEGIC USES OF HYPERBOLE.
       "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
       "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
       "Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
       "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ESP.
       "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"



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