The Stone Detective
The Case of the Eff Word
Frederick M. Hueston, PhD
Stone Care Consultant

Well, it's time for this old Stone Detective to rant and rave about something that has been bothering me for a very long time.

As a stone expert, you should be able to not only recognize common stone and tile types but you should also know the proper lingo of the industry. Now, I can accept that such other outsiders as attorneys, architects, and engineers mispronouncing terms, but to me it's unacceptable for someone who is in the industry to not only mispronounce but use the wrong word.

It kind of reminds me of Slip from the 1950's "The Bowery Boys," who was always using the wrong words in the wrong situation. In the stone industry there is one word in particular that is constantly misused, and recently in a deposition, one expert (not me) made this major mistake. Here is what happened:

Attorney: Mr. Expert, can you tell me what this white powdery residue on the stone is called?

Supposed Expert: Yes, that is a condition known as effervescence.

I about fell out of my chair when I heard him use this word. Now, before I go on and on about what is wrong with this term, I should perhaps explain what this white powdery residue is. When stone, concrete, brick and other porous materials are subjected to a lot of moisture, soluble salts from the setting bed and the material itself can migrate to the surface as a powdery residue. This powdery residue is known as efflorescence.

Mr. so-called expert was using the word effervescence constantly, that is, until it was time to question me.

Attorney: Mr. Stone Detective, you heard Mr. Other Stone Expert explain what effervescence is in this case. Do you agree with him?

Me: No, I totally disagree.

Attorney: Are you telling me that this powdery residue on the surface of the stone is not occurring?

Me: No, it's there and it is a problem.

Attorney: I don't understand. Mr. Other Stone Expert is saying the same thing, isn't he?

Me: No, he is not. I have never seen in my thirty plus years in this business, a stone with an effervescence problem. I have never seen a stone effervesce in anyway.

Now, the attorney is looking very confused and I'm having a blast since I know he has no idea that the Other Expert is using the wrong terminology.

Attorney: Then can you explain what this white powdery residue on the stone is?

Me:Yes, it's the deposit of soluble salts on the surface of the stone known as "efflorescence."

The attorney is still not getting it at this point.

Attorney: Is that the same thing Mr. Other Stone Expert just said?

Me: No, it is not, sir.

Attorney: Um... Can you explain that?

Me: Sure. Mr. Other Stone Expert is talking about effervescence. This is what an Alka-Seltzer does when you drop it in water- it fizzes and bubbles. In other words, it effervesces. The white powdery residue on the surface of the stone is not fizzing and bubbling and therefore is not effervescing, and hence, is not effervescence. The stone has a condition commonly known as efflorescence, not effervescence.

The attorney just sat there for what seemed like ten minutes scratching his head and looking through his notes. He just realized that his expert wasn't much of an expert, after all. To make a long story short, the case was settled without ever going to court. Another case solved.

The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Fred Hueston, written to be entertaining and educational. Frederick M. Hueston is the founder of Stone Forensics (stoneforensics.com), a nationally known stone consulting company, and also the technical director for Stoneandtilepros.com.

He has written over 33 books on stone and tile installations, fabrication and restoration. He also serves as a expert for many legal cases across the world. Email comments to him at fhueston@stoneforensics.com



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