Last month I related the story of how Vietnam vet Cooter McBean finally got himself a decent home when a $250,000 geodesic dome dropped out of the sky on top of him, compliments of one of several tornadoes that ravaged the region back in May.
The dome landed more or less intact, and Cooter was miraculously unhurt, but to avoid a whoppin' big sympathy award from a jury, the owner gave Cooter the dome for a replacement home.
Cooter was in the news again this month, as the local Disabled American Veterans' chapter decided to do a little something for him at their Memorial Day ceremony.
Cooter, who earned a silver star, a bronze star and two purple hearts in Vietnam, was captured and tortured by the Viet Cong. Upon his release, he was never again quite right in the head and has just barely managed to survive for the past 40 years by doing odd jobs here and there, trapping a little, fishing a little and until his weapons were taken by the court, hunting for game.
When that dome fell on him back in early May, the resulting newspaper coverage gave Sheriff Hiram Potts, Fire Chief Stanley the Torch Aslinger and other members of the DAV the idea of retrieving Cooter's medals, pawned years ago, and presenting them to him at the Memorial Day service at the courthouse.
The originals are, of course, long gone, but Stanley contacted the Veteran's Administration and through them the Department of the Army to see about getting replacement medals.
A few days later, Stanley got a call from a Colonel Horace Ledenhoffer at the Pentagon's Department of Vital Records.
"Do you just want these medals that Specialist McBean was already awarded, or do you want the ones we've had in the storage vault for over 40 years?" the colonel asked. "Storage vault? You mean Cooter's earned other medals that he never received?"
"Well, just the two. A third purple heart for the injuries he received while a P.O.W. and his Medal of Honor."
"Medal of Honor?"
"Yes, Mr. Aslinger. Herman McBean was approved for the Medal of Honor based on the testimony of a dozen of his fellow POWs. They planned an escape one night and had all made it outside the compound wire when the guards caught them. Specialist McBean told his fellow escapees to run for the jungle, then he jumped up, screaming some sort of bird call, and charged the guards.
"The testimony says that the guards all chased this screaming lunatic, eventually beating him senseless, while the rest of the men escaped. They were able to make it through the jungle to a friendly village, and eventually returned to an American base. Everyone thought McBean had been killed saving his comrades, and he was nominated for a Medal of Honor, posthumously, of course.
"The medal was approved, but the War Department couldn't locate any living relatives to receive it. Then when the war ended, North Vietnam released a number of POWs, including Specialist McBean. The paperwork got mixed up, and he was discharged before his medal caught up with him, then he just vanished from sight."
"Uh yeah, that would be the 15 years Cooter spent living in a cave up on Flatiron Peak, living off the land and swearing that the Viet Cong would never take him alive."
"Anyway, this is the first the Army has heard of our missing Medal of Honor winner since he received his discharge. He never filed for any VA benefits, never sought medical assistance or anything else that would place him on our radar screen until now."
"Well, Cooter has been a little funny in the head these past 40 years. He had a couple of minor scrapes with the law, but no charges were ever filed, so no record would have shown up anywhere."
"We would like to have Mr. McBean come up to Washington to receive his Medal of Honor, where some high-ranking generals could make the presentation," the colonel added.
"That might be a bit touchy," Stanley replied. "Cooter gets kinda paranoid in large crowds. He even stays away from Lower Primroy when the crowds show up for the 4th of July festivities."
"Well, why don't you speak with him about it and if he doesn't want to come to Washington, I'll see what I can do about getting some brass to travel down there to make the presentation. Maybe the Pentagon will pay travel for some of his fellow former POWs to come down as well, if we can locate them."
And so it will soon come to pass that poor old Cooter McBean will receive some longoverdue recognition. As Stanley predicted, Cooter absolutely refused to go to Washington. Instead, Colonel Ledenhoffer arranged for a pair of generals to fly down to Varmint County for the county's July 4th celebration, to present Cooter with his medals.
He also arranged for a few of the men who had escaped the POW compound when Cooter sacrificed himself to also be present, leaving only the question of whether the skittish war hero will be able to overcome his fear of crowds and attend his own ceremony.
Next month, dear readers, you will learn the outcome, and whether the ceremony is able to avoid the usual outcomes of such occasions in Varmint County, which often range from the ludicrous to absolute disaster.
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