The star college fullback knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library or classroom.
So when a librarian saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help.
"I have to read a play by this Shakespeare dude, by tomorrow," he told her.
"OK, that's no problem. Which one?" she asked.
He scanned the shelves, scratching his head and answered, "The Bart, or Willy, something geeky like that."
Bob received a free ticket to the super bowl from his company for being top salesman of the year. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he discovered the seat was in the last row, in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field!
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man shook his head, "No."
Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?" The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to be here, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Wow, that's really sad," said Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat like a relative or a close friend?"
"No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral!"