Well, summer is officially over here in upstate New York and I'll soon be headed to Florida for the winter. I'm long overdue a little vacation to rest these ol' bones in the sun.

I called my travel agent and told her I wanted to go to some tropical island away from phones, stone and similar stressful distractions. She suggested I take a trip to the Bahamas. "Book it, Dano," I told her. "I want to leave ASAP."

I was so excited I decided to take the rest of the day off. I grabbed my trench coat, the keys to the woody and was just about to head out the door when the phone starting ringing. My gut reaction was to not answer it, so what did I do? I sighed, went over and answered with my usual, sour, "Stone Detective, how can I help you?"

The voice on the other end sounded like he was going to cry. I calmed him down and asked what the problem was. He explained that he had four different kitchen countertops installed with three different fabricators, and within a week they all cracked in several places. I asked him if it was the same type of granite and he said, "Well, yes and no - just the first two." I asked where he was located and he said in Miami.

It must be fate, I thought. I could go down there, look at his problem and hop over to the islands. I continued to ask him questions. Did they support the granite properly etc, etc. I was puzzled and also curious as to why different granites would continue to crack if they were installed properly. I called my travel agent back and had her book me on a flight to Miami.

Vacation day finally came and even with that one little side trip to Miami, I was headed where it was sunny and warm. It was 28 degrees when I left New York!

I arrived in Miami International, picked up my rental car and typed the address in the GPS.

Now, I know what you're thinking... the Stone Detective knows how to use a GPS? Well, I'm not that old-fashioned and I just love these things, especially the sexy voice telling me to turn right, turn left, make a U-turn, etc. After about 20 minutes the GPS genie announced, "You have arrived at your destination." I looked around and didn't see a building in sight. All I saw was a marina with some big fancy yachts.

I drove around the parking lot several times and couldn't find anything, so I got out my phone and called. I told him I was at the address he gave me but couldn't find the building. He started laughing and said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, it's not a building, it's a yacht."

I felt like Gomer Pyle, 'cause all that was going through my head was, "Surprise, surprise, surprise!"

"Ok," I said, "I have done some work on a few yachts back in the day, not to mention that I just restored an old houseboat I'll be living on in Florida this winter."

I stepped aboard a large, 70-foot yacht and thought I was entering a hotel. It was big and it was luxurious. The captain led me to the galley where he pointed to the countertop. Sure enough, it was cracked. I looked under it and noticed that the cabinets seemed intact but the decking under the floor was weak and when I stepped on it, it would move.

Bingo, problem solved. I told him he needed to reinforce the floor, since the movement of the water and the boat bouncing was more than likely causing the top to crack. He thanked me and told me if I ever wanted a ride, to let him know. I felt like cancelling my trip to the Bahamas and taking his personal cruise liner out for the week.

Well, I'm finally off for some R and R!

The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Fred Hueston, written to be entertaining and educational. Frederick M. Hueston is a worldwide expert on stone installation, failures, fabrication and restoration. He heads up the leading stone inspection team in the industry at Stone Forensics (www.stoneforensics.com) and is the chief technical director for StonePRO Solutions. Please visit www.stoneforensics.com, www.stoneprosolutions.com and www.stoneandtilepros.com for more information on their services.

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