Pet Squirrel Chases Off Would-Be Gun Thieves

Pitbulls. Rottweilers. German Shepherds. Maybe even falcons and other birds of prey. Those are the brave, brazen beasts that come to mind when we think about “guard animals.”

For a burglar that broke into the Idaho home of Adam Pearl, though, Hell hath no fury like the bared teeth and bushy tail of Joey — Pearl’s adorable-on-the-outside, ferocious-when-he-needs-to-be pet squirrel.

Joey is being hailed as a hero after he attacked and scared away the trespassing thief one Tuesday.

Pearl told reporters that, even though Joey greeted him as usual when got home that day, he knew something was amiss.

The homeowner first noticed footprints in the snow through his backyard. Upon walking around, Pearl saw that several previously closed doors were open and partly damaged, indicating someone had been trying to break into his gun safe. A few items appeared to have been taken as well.

Pearl called the incident into the police. Several hours later, an officer returned with some of Pearl’s missing goods and alerted him to Joey’s remarkable feat of noble rodent heroism.

According to Pearl, the officer told him the suspect had scratches all over his hands. He said, “She asked him, ‘Did you get that from the squirrel?’ and he says, ‘Yeah, the d*** thing kept attacking me and wouldn’t stop until I left!’”

For his champion demonstration of courage, loyalty, and how powerful his little claws can be, Pearl rewarded Joey with the pet’s favorite treat: Whoppers malted milk balls.