A man places a small box on the table and says to his wife, “Honey, I bought this for you from a stranger I met downtown. You always wanted some help around the house, and here it is.”

With that, he removed the top of the box and dumped out a centipede.

“Gross!” screamed his wife. “Get that disgusting bug outta here!”

“Hey, give it a chance,” the husband replied. “The guy I bought it from said it would perform any chore you asked. Here, let’s see.”

With that he said, “Centipede, go wash the dishes.”

The centipede leaped off the table and scurried off into the kitchen. When it returned 15 minutes later, every dish was washed, dried and put away. Plus, the floor had been swept and mopped.

Next, he ordered, “Centipede, clean the den.”

Same results as before. In 15 minutes, the furniture had been rearranged and dusted,  the carpet vacuumed, and all the books were lined up in alphabetical order on the shelves.

“See what I mean?” said the beaming husband. “Now, let’s try one more chore.

“Centipede, run to KFC and bring us a bucket of chicken and some biscuits.”

Out the door the centipede ran. Fifteen minutes passed, then 20. Then half an hour. Still, no centipede.

“You supposed it got squashed on the sidewalk or eaten by a bird?” the husband wondered aloud.

He went to the front door and opened it. On the top step sat the centipede, hunched over.

“I told you nearly 45 minutes ago to go to KFC and get us something to eat. What’s takin’ so long?”

The centipede stopped what he was doing and looked up at the guy.

“You told me to run, so  hold your horses,” the bug exclaimed. “I’m still tying my damn Nikes!”