One early morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!” 

Son: “But why, mom? I don’t want to go.”

Mom: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

Son: “Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”

Mom: “Oh, that’s no reason to not to go to school. Come on, now, and get ready.”

Son: “Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

Mom: “Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the principal!” 


Blonde Ambition

One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, “Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”

The mother responds, “Very good, honey.” The blonde asks, “Is that because I’m a blonde, mommy?” And the mother responds, “Yes, dear.”

Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, “Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!”

The mother says, “Very good, honey.” The blonde then asked, “Is that because I’m a blonde, mommy?” The mother responds, “Yes, dear.”

The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I’m a blonde, mommy?”

And the mother responds, “No, honey, it’s because you’re twenty-five.”


My Teacher is Thankful

Son: “Mom, teacher was asking me today, if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.”

Mom: “That’s nice of her to take such an interest in you. So, what did she say when you told her that you’re the only child, my dear?”

Son: “She just said…‘Thank goodness!’” 


Back to School

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.

“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”