Page 10 - May Slippery Rock Gazette
P. 10

 10|May 2020
The Stone Detective
Makes the Case for Distance Sleuthing
it couldn’t be him – didn’t he die
in season six?) Tony was kind
of intimidating, and I was afraid if I couldn’t solve this problem I would soon be wearing a pair of cement shoes (LOL).
He turned the phone around and began
to show
me his
countertop. Sure enough,
the counter had these large, dark stains all over it. They seemed to be everywhere. Generally, when I see stained countertops, the stains are in areas near the sink or the stove, but these stains were everywhere.
So, I started asking him some questions. My first question and rule number one in stain removal, “Do you know what the stains are?”
“I have no $*#$&^#^ idea,” he growled. So I asked what type of cooking or meal prep he does on the counter. What he said next had me nodding my head in un- derstanding. He proceeded to tell me that he owned an Italian restaurant and he was the main chef. He said he tries new recipes at home before offering them in his restaurants.
“Do you use a lot of oil.?” I asked.
“Any Italian who doesn’t use olive oil is not a real Italian cook!” he yelled at me. This solutions was going to be tricky since the stains are probably olive oil, but even if we could remove them,
they are likely to return and be a continuous problem.
I explained to him about poultices and how to remove a stain with a poultice. He lis- tened to my instructions for a minute and then stopped me and yelled, “Have you lost your *&@$#^%$ mind? I ain’t gonna to do that.”
I was going to suggest he get a restoration contractor to do the poulticing, but I suspected he wouldn’t be happy with that either, and then I got an idea. I asked him if he would mind if the entire countertop was even, but darker? He told me, “Yeah, I guess that would be OK.”
Itoldhimtotakearagand some olive oil and spread the oil over the countertop and let it sit for an hour or so. After it sits, go ahead and wipe the excess off. He called me back the next day and told me it worked. Now, I’m not suggesting that everyone do this, but in this case, it was good solution. Instead of charging him I asked for his chicken parm recipe. He told me he could give it to me, but would have to kill me if he did. I settled for a free meal at his restaurant next time I was in town. Another case solved –and now I’m hungry!
The Stone Detective is a fic- tional character created by Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD. Dr. Fred has written over 33 books on stone and tile fabrication and installation, and also serves as an expert witness. Fred has also been writing for the Slippery Rock for over 20 years. Send your comments to fhueston@
Slippery rock Gazette
Industry Calendar Updates
Continued from page 7
June 2020
Women in Stone
Welcome Webinar
When: Tuesday June 16, 12:00 PM — 12:30 PM (ET)
Where: Online Webinar
2020 Marble Izmir Fair
When: Wednesday June 17, 12:00 AM — 11:59 PM (ET) through Saturday June 20, 12:00 AM — 11:59 PM (ET)
Where: ZAFER MAH. 840 SK. FUAR ALANI NO:2, Gaziemir/ izmir
Stone+tec 2020 (Postponed) When: Wednesday June 17, 09:00 AM — 05:00 PM (ET) through Saturday June 20, 09:00 AM — 05:00 PM (ET)
Where: Nuremberg, Germany
2020 Tucker Design Awards Event
When: Tuesday June 23, 12:00 AM — 11:59 PM (ET) and Wednesday June 24, 12:00 AM — 11:59 PM (ET)
Where: Cleveland, Ohio
The international trade show Marmomac 2020 has been tenta- tively rescheduled to take place beginning on October 8, 2020, in Verona, Italy.
Next Issue, (June) the Slippery Rock Gazette will continue to list additional upcoming indus- try events, as scheduling is con- firmed, and pending any travel restrictions in the next two months Check with the hosting organiza- tion before making travel plans.
size standard in number of em- ployees for the North American Industry Classification System (NAICS) industry as provided by SBA, if higher.
• Individuals who operate a sole proprietorship or as an in- dependent contractor and eligi- ble self-employed individuals.
• Any business concern that employs not more than 500 em- ployees per physical location of the business concern and that is assigned a NAICS code begin- ning with 72, for which the af- filiation rules are waived.
For more information contact your local SBA office.
  Iwas going to head over to my favorite greasy spoon, but it is still closed due to this darn coronavirus. I yawned my way into my kitchen to make my own joe, and see what I could find. Before all this social distanc- ing started, it had been a while since I had to cook a traditional breakfast; there’s no time like the present to practice survival skills. So, out come the Betty Crocker cookbooks. What’s funny is that after graduating high school, I worked in a diner, and even worked my way up to short order cook. It didn’t take me long to remember how to do some bacon and eggs, and perhaps I can still flip a hamburger or two with the best of them.
I opened my ’fridge and spot- ted some bacon and some eggs I didn’t remember buying. I pulled out my electric grill and had a flashback to those diner days. By the way — important safety tip: do NOT fry bacon without an apron on. OUCH — OUCH — OUCH!
Just as I was about to practice my one-handed egg-cracking tal- ent, my phone rang. The voice on the other end had sort of a New York / Italian accent. He regaled me at length about a problem with his granite countertop, and for a moment I thought I was talking to Tony Soprano.
He told me that his granite countertop was getting darker and darker. He said he had tried several different cleaners, but the
Frederick M. Hueston, PhD
countertop kept getting darker. He wanted me to come out and take a look at it. I told him I was a little concerned about traveling. He started yelling that this virus thing was all a hoax, it was ruin- ing his business, the government was behind it, etcetera, etcetera.
I just kept calm and told him I could give him some stain re- moval tips. He wouldn’t hear of it. He really seemed to be the type of guy who wasn’t used to hearing “no.” But I really didn’t want to get on a plane with this outbreak, so I insisted he try a few things. He just kept insisting that I needed to see it for myself. If only there was a way to see it without trav- eling all the way to New York...
Yup — he was in NYC, and in one of the worst-hit areas. Just as I was about to tell him to find some- one locally, I had an idea. I asked him if he had access to FaceTime, Skype or maybe Messenger. He said, “Yeah, who doesn’t, dese days?”
I told “Tony” I could do a vir- tual inspection. He could show me the problem over his phone, and I could ask him questions to clar- ify what I was seeing, and possi- bly have him try a few things as I watched. He seemed to like the idea, so he hung up and told me he would call me back on FaceTime.
My phone rang several minutes later – and there he was – the spit- ting image of Tony Soprano! (But
      The Small Business Owner’s Guide to the CARES Act
    Streamline field to office communications.
A Moraware Partner
“ Job Well Done has increased our communication and organization of our field operations.
              -AMC of Wisconsin
 Continued from page 8
This program would be ret- roactive to February 15, 2020, in order to help bring workers who may have already been laid off back onto payrolls. Loans are available through June 30, 2020.
What types of businesses and entities are eligible for a PPP loan?
• Businesses and entities must have been in operation on February 15, 2020.
• Small business concerns, as well as any business con- cern, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, a 501(c)(19) veterans organization, or Tribal business concern de- scribed in section 31(b)(2) (C) that has fewer than 500 employees, or the applicable

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