The Stone Detective in The Case of the Flaky Travertine
Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD
IT was just another sunny day in Florida, and the heat promised to bake everything, my old bones included, which now seemed to operate on a slow modem dial-up connection. Waking up had become quite the circus act; the bones creaked, the back balked, and the muscles played a reluctant game of “not it” when nudged to get moving. I chuckled to myself, “If I pop any more in the morning, they’ll start calling me ‘Rice Krispies.’”
Hungry for breakfast, my stomach growled for a good ol’ Cuban sandwich—pork, ham, cheese, pickles, and mustard all pressed together between slabs of crispy bread. It’s a taste of Miami, a slice of my youth, just like the stone structures I examine — both are layered, flavorful, and have stood the test of time.
Just as I was about to head out to my favorite greasy spoon, my phone rang. The voice on the other end was tinged with distress. A lady had a travertine paver driveway that was spalling, and she didn’t know why. Known in these parts as the “Stone Detective,” I usually unraveled the mysteries of historical buildings and ornate masonry, but driveways with attitude? Right up my alley.
I grabbed my keys and hopped into my trusty old Woody, which was almost as vintage and temperamental as I am, and drove to the diner. I perched on my usual stool. Flo, the waitress with a knack for sassy banter, greeted me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Back again, huh? Can’t stay away from our coffee or is it just me? ” she said with a wink.
Flirting with Flo was an old routine, as comforting and familiar as the Cuban sandwich she was about to serve up. “Maybe it’s a bit of both,” I grinned, winking back. “But today, make it quick, Flo. Duty calls, and driveways apparently don’t fix themselves.”
As I scarfed down the sandwich, my phone buzzed again. It was Paver Panic Patty anxious for me to come over. I reassured her with a quick, “On my way!” and threw down a couple of bills for Flo, who was already pouring another cup of to-go coffee, she knew I wouldn’t have time to linger at the counter for more banter.
Upon arriving at Paver Panic Patty’s place, the travertine pavers were indeed spalling — they were shedding bits like a nervous cat.
“Good morning!” I greeted her as I stepped out, inspection bag in hand.
“Thank goodness you’re here,” Paver Panic Patty, replied, her voice echoing her heels, which clicked a Morse code of panic against the stone.
As we surveyed the scene of the crime, I knelt down here and there, inspecting the joints between the pavers. “These joints are tighter than a new pair of shoes on a long walk,” I said aloud. “And these pavers, they’re thinner than my patience on a hot day. They simply can’t handle the weight of cars without a bit more meat on their bones and some breathing room.”
Paver Panic Patty looked both perplexed and intrigued. “So, what’s the fix?”
“Well, the whole driveway needs a facelift,” I explained. “Thicker pavers, wider joints. It’s a bit like plastic surgery for your driveway — expensive, but worth it in the long run.”
She sighed, a mix of dismay and relief etching her face. “I should have called a seasoned stone sleuth like you from the start.”
After wrapping up there, I made a mental note to stop by the diner again on the way back. Flo’s good humor and the diner’s buzzing atmosphere were the perfect antidote to a morning spent diagnosing spalling driveways. And who knows? Maybe I’d have time for that a third cup of coffee: and some more flirting!
Driving back, I mulled over the day’s events. Every job was a mix of detective work, craftsmanship, and a dose of old-fashioned charm. Just another day in the life of the Stone Detective, preserving the past, one stone at a time, ensuring each piece could withstand whatever life decided to park on it. And with any luck, there’d be another Cuban sandwich at the end of the next mystery.
The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD, written to entertain and educate. Dr. Fred has written over 33 books on stone and tile installations, fabrication and restoration and also serves as an expert for many legal cases across the world. Send your comments to fhueston@stoneforensics.com.